A FRANK MOVIE REVIEW
“THE HITMAN’S WIFE’S BODYGUARD” – 0 +
In a word: Junk
Because this movie was so bad, I feel compelled to inform readers and friends to save their time and money on a motion picture that has to be among the crappiest of all time. It could be that the film may have improved after the 35-minute mark, but by then we’d had enough.
The plot doesn’t matter, because the story is lost in all the chases, high-jumps, fights, acrobatics, noise, and endless doses of mass shootings while ensuring that every sentence in the dialogue includes the “F” bomb, even when it makes no sense whatsoever. “The Wolf of Wall Street,” (2013) supposedly holds the record for non-stop “F” this and “F” when the word was used 715 times. Otherwise, that was still a decent movie with a compelling story. “Hitman’s” has no compelling story, it’s just pure shoot-em- up crap, laced with bad acting and an immense offering of excruciating, bombastic noise.
Class A actors like Samuel L Jackson, Selma Hayek, and Ryan Reynolds (the stars) must be in dire straits to allow themselves to appear in a Class F garbage film like this. Consider, also, these are actors among the Hollywood elite who, as most of Hollywood’s power houses adamantly support stricter gun control, while making millions from appearing in pro-gun, mass killing scenes – for entertainment. The hypocrisy is sickening. Why would such highly acclaimed and very rich actors sign contracts to be a part of film garbage?
I’d write a short comment about the plot, but there wasn’t any.
I know nothing about the director, Patrick Hughes. Nor shall I if ever if that name appears again.
It’s no wonder the current trend in movies is to stay at home.
I give this movie — based on 35 minutes of tolerating the “Junk,” my first ever rating of – “0”