* Why do cars come with useless alarm systems? Answer 1) To help ignore thieves 2) To irritate pedestrians and 3) To fatten contracts with auto manufacturers.
* I’m old enough to remember when a kiss didn’t begin with a tongue.
* If Americans are having an unemployment problem, then why does the government want to create jobs to employ illegal non-Americans?
* Why do sports associations fine wealthy professional athletes $10,000 for misconduct? That’s like fining me a nickle for parking in handicapped spaces.
* I wonder how much all those audience girls are paid to scream their lungs out in TV shows like America’s Got Talent.
* If you’re over forty, name a really funny comedian today. (Those under forty wouldn’t remember them)
* I wonder what the U.S. population would be today if there had not been wars in Korea, Viet Nam, Afghanistan and Iraq.
* Why do we continue pursuing the same war on drugs when every statistic and comprehensive study shows it’s a losing strategy?
* Rap Music is an oxymoron
* The only way to extract corruption from politics is to do away with campaign finance entirely. It is doable, but don’t hold your breath.
* People like Allen West, Herman Cain and Tim Scott are driving the Obama camp crazy, because they can no longer rely on calling everyone “racists” on the conservative side.
* I’m glad to see a new breed of young golfers rise to the top since Tiger Woods made room for them.
* Wouldn’t you love to see a debate between Barack Obama and Newt Gingrich? It would be like pitting Pee Wee Herman against Shaq O’Neal.
* I know very little about finance, but there are basics to anything. It’s common sense that you can’t spend more than you take in. What else do we need to know?
* I would love for the United States to take in every oppressed and starving human being on planet earth and give them warmth, love and freedom. Then again, that would effectively terminate the United States as we know it, forever.
* I can’t eat a dead fish that’s looking at me.
* Even if he fails his presidential bid, Herman Cain has made a powerful statement about self-determination, rising up from the poor house and earning ones way to the top.
* Why does our government disapprove of water boarding, but approves assassinations?
* I hope to die snuggled in my wife’s bosom.
* All religions are worthy of respect, until they threaten the well being of others.
* I love my age, 72. It’s pure freedom. No job to keep, no ambitions to pursue, nothing more to prove, no one to impress, no party line to follow.
* My kids are all grown and independent. I won’t let my senior life be controlled by their lives.
* I love to entertain at elderly facilities. The older folks always stand up and place their hands on their hearts when we play patriotic music.
* Sometimes those people holding cardboard signs at intersections are really hungry. Why judge?
* I’m not religious, but we celebrate Christmas because it brings families and friends together in a spirit of love at least one time a year. What does it matter, the reason?
* When I was a kid, my mother told me — not asked me — to practice violin. Today, it’s a blessing. She cared more about my future than my approval of her.
* In twenty years, book stores will be obsolete. How sad.
* I would bet that Mozart was autistic?
* I fear the American people have been lulled into a false sense of security and we have misplaced our trust into those who would surreptitiously do us injustice and harm.
* Divorce isn’t always a bad thing. I have a really talented, loving and dynamic wife. If it weren’t for those past divorces, she wouldn’t be a part of my life today.